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Archive for May, 2013

Little Red Rides the ‘Hood


 

There once was a young woman with flaming red hair who lived in a certain dilapidated, beat to shit, no good part of the city called the ‘hood. Little Red was the most beautiful woman in the ‘hood.

 

One day her mother, having made some Cake and being strung out beyond all comprehension, beyond all recognition, beyond all cognition said to Little Red. “Oh my dear go see how your grandmother the pimp is doing with her pimping and take her this Cake and this pot of, pot of, uh, pot while I lie my fat ass down for a fat ass nap.”

 

On the way to see grandmother, Little Red encountered Mr. Wolf who had a very great mind to eat her all up like he had the other day when he had found her very tasty indeed. He was captivated by Little Red’s flaming red hair and was pleased to have answered his question of whether the carpet matched the drapes having discovered there was no carpet at all.

 

“I’m off to see grandmother,” Little Red said to Mr. Wolf. “I have some Cake and pot for her.”

 

“Sounds like a party,” said Mr. Wolf, “I’ll meet you there but I have to run an errand first.” Mr. Wolf took the shortest path while Little Red took her grand old time having sampled a bit of the Cake and the pot and even stopped for a while behind a tree to lift up her skirt and drop her knickers to take care of business in memory of Mr. Wolf eating her all up.

 

Mr. Wolf arrived at grandmother’s door and knocked.

 

“Get in here,” said grandmother, “I ain’t got all day.” So Mr. Wolf entered and ate her all up even though she was old and wrinkly and without teeth because you gotta do what you gotta do. Ate her up so well she lapsed into a coma. Mr.Wolf put grandmother into the spare bedroom, donned her nightshirt and nightcap, because he liked a little cross-dressing once in a while, and climbed into her bed.

 

Soon Little Red arrived and knocked on grandmother’s door. “I’ve brought Cake and pot,” she announced dizzily, steadying herself with the door frame.

 

“Bring it in and set it on the table,” grandmother said gruffly which didn’t concern Little Red who knew her Grandmother was a chain smoker and she’d heard her sounding worse. “And take your clothes off and get into bed,” said grandmother. What the hell thought Little Red who was up for pretty much anything at this point and did as she was told.

 

Mr. Wolf through off the covers and Little Red proclaimed, “Grandmother, what big…what a big…Jesus H Christ Grandmother!”

 

“The better to shag you with my dear.” And such a good ride was Little Red and so much did she enjoy it that she would soon set out to ride the ‘hood.

 

When they were finished they had some Cake and some pot and by that time grandmother had regained her senses and joined them and Mr. Wolf, in gratitude, ate them all up.

 

 

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