Home > A Day in the Life... > Queen City Suffer Club

Queen City Suffer Club


                                 Accepting Nominations and Applications for Membership in

                                                          The Queen City Suffer Club                               

Eligibility Requirements:

1. Currently in a state of financial, emotional or physical distress. Satisfaction of all three criteria makes you a Platinum Member. Special consideration given to those suffering a recent romantic breakup, job loss or untreated illness due to a lack of medical insurance.

2. Smart enough to realize that where you live (the Cincinnati region in particular and the U.S. in general) is in a state of severe crisis but pathetic enough to be stuck here.

3. Harbor an appropriate degree of rage toward the U.S. health insurance industry, Fox News, Glenn Beck, BP, streetcar and rail opponents, televangelists, mega sized suburban S.U.V. drivers (car and/or driver), exurbia, farm subsidies, the military-industrial complex, wealthy individuals and corporations that pay no taxes, propaganda disguised as news, Monsanto, Tea Partiers, Sarah Palin, Twitter addicts, the Petro-criminal industry, smokers and cigarette butts on the ground, Texting addicts, Lite beer drinkers, American Idol, NASCAR, Red Bull, adults who use the LOL acronym, genre fiction, soft core porn (what’s the point?), Paris Hilton, Chili’s and Applebee’s restaurants,  Adam Sandler, Wal Mart and hemorrhoids. You’re allowed one vice from the above list, but only one, while you are being re-educated.

Communal sufferings will be observed periodically at Arnold’s Bar and Grill, Rock Bottom on the Square, The Righteous Room, Frie’s Cafe, Dewey’s Pizza in Clifton and Neon’s Unplugged.

Meetings of the Q.C. Suffer Club Management Committee occur every Saturday at 11:00 a.m. at Market Wines wine tasting at Findlay Market. Interested and prospective members are welcome to attend to learn more and sign up for a schedule of events. Bring your credentials.

Mick

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Categories: A Day in the Life...
  1. June 17, 2010 at 11:28 am

    So close and yet so far…in a divorce, shattered heart, financially and emotionally stressed, have arthritis so suffer physically but yet I have too many vices..Bud Select 55, twiddicted, text like a fiend…perhaps I need more serious therapy than I know?

  2. June 17, 2010 at 11:38 am

    Hi Marti,

    It’s all in jest, of course. I have many vices myself, just not the ones listed. But the commiserating is real. Why don’t you join us some Saturday at Market Wines (unfortunately, I won’t be there this Sat.)? Or, some evening, I’ll let you know where we’re hanging out (maybe I’ll even text). Fellow sufferers unite!

    Mick

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